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  • Writer's pictureVictoria Kopp

Relational Dichotomy

Fully knowing everything about someone is the best and the worst part about any relationship. Not only do you know their strengths, but also their weaknesses; you know their perfections and their flaws. One day they're the best thing that ever happened to you and the next they're the ones that hurt you the most.

It is one of the most freeing feelings to have someone in your life who knows everything about you. There's nothing you feel like you have to hide, even if they don't always agree or even lecture you at times. You know no matter what, they will still be in your corner at the end of the day. They know your most shameful moments, but choose not to define you by them. They know some of your biggest accomplishments and remind you of them when you're feeling lost. They know your quirks and oddities and think that's what makes you amazing.

On of my dearest friends once asked me, "You know everything about me and still believe the best in me, why?". I responded, "I think that's exactly why. I know who you want to be and I've been able to hear your reason for every behavior". I'm not always perfect at it, but I love giving people a chance to show me who they really WANT to be, not just who they say they are. We all make mistakes. It has taken me years to crawl out from under the shame of mine. But I know the painful reasons behind the choices I made and I'm still giving myself a chance. My closest friends know a lot of my horrible decisions and still see the good in me. My family watched me grow up, fall apart, and start putting myself back together again. These are the most precious people in my life and I could never make it through my most exciting moments or the most devastating ones without them.

Relationships are the work that yields the most rewards. Even the painful fights help build you into a better you. Without others how would we ever see things in a whole new way? Things start to become dull when we're only ever looking at them from our own lens. And living starts to feel alive again when we are sharing the ups and downs with someone we love.

Every moment a pain point is brought to your attention brings with it a choice. Does this person love you enough to let you process this? Do you love yourself enough to process this? When you're able to answer yes to these questions you can start valuing the arguments, disappointments, and hurt brought on by having close knit relationships with people. Don't let your heart grow sour when friendships are strained and lovers are lost. These are important moments that not only define your character, but the character of the person you're in relationship with. Love the dichotomy of the relational flow!

There are so many beautiful aspects of forming lasting relationships. If you are ready and desire to have more meaningful connections with people in your life don't hesitate to reach out. Schedule a free consultation and let's find techniques that work well for you.

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