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  • Victoria Kopp

3 ways to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved

Managing the perfect life is the most exhausting thing we put ourselves through. Always be happy, well dressed, well manicured, well read; be carefree; be able to travel at will; keep a perfectly clean house; go to every relevant event; be the best at the gym, at work, at social events, on social media; excel at something or many things. The list goes on and this is just if you're single. If you have children and/or a relationship the list is quadrupled with infinitely more impossible things. The hardest part when we fail at these impossible things is that we assume something is wrong with us. We never stop to consider that maybe something is actually wrong with the way we perceive perfection.


First, in this moment, let go of whatever idea of perfection you have been holding on to. Start to appreciate and see the perfection in the areas of your life that you previously felt like a failure. Did you over sleep this week? If not, celebrate that. If you have, celebrate that too. It means your perfectly in-tuned body took for you what you needed. It also means that there is something in your life you get the joy of reevaluating, whether it's your bedtime, your busy schedule, or your health. Continue to see the perfect works in the moments you previously viewed as failures. Think of or list at least three that have happened in the last week, month, or year.


Second, appreciate the moments you did something out of pure love. It doesn't matter if the love was for yourself or for someone else. It's easier to see the love in our lives when we put focus on it. Did you decline the week night invitation to dinner so that you could go home and [fill in blank here: read, meal prep, sleep early, take a bath, walk your pet, see your child/spouse/roommate]? Good thing you loved yourself, your loved one(s), your pets enough in that moment to say no. Now you don't have to worry about when that task will get done and you also have a future dinner date to look forward too. Or did you accept an invitation to something you wouldn't normally do? Think of or list as many things as you can that you have chosen out of love.


Third, list as many positive attributes about yourself as you can think of, because no one can take away your truth. Do you have pretty nails, good taste in clothes; are you loyal, out spoken, considerate, creative; do you rarely get sick or never get anxious? Whatever things you value the most about who you are should go on this list. Whenever you have a most imperfect day, remind yourself of all of the perfect things about you.


Loving yourself starts with small simple tasks that snowball into every area of your life. Don't be afraid to interrupt your usual way of thinking to remind yourself that you and your life are pretty perfect. You have worked hard to get where you are in this present moment. It was no small feat to overcome the challenges you have faced, the changes you have made, the feelings you have felt to be exactly where you are right now.


If you would like to take the love you have for yourself even further, look at a group session or a one on one on the booking page of this site. You are worth it!


#selfacceptance #lifestyle #selflove #selfcare

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